He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
