Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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