Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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