you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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