just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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