Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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