Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize