Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Randomize
