I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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