i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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