I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i will never coherently bang her
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
