i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
