the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize
