Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Randomize
