those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
