you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
