shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
