Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
