we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
