Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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