He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
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