I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I just want to make out with him forever
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
