You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
