uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
