Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
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