My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
