Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
