so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
