is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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