I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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