"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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