Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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