i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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