he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
