I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
