so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
