six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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