Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
