i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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