I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
