Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
