i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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