I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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