my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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