Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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