i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
