I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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