if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
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