I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
