Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
