Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize