I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Randomize
