clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
