his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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