I just cut my nipple shaving
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
