she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
