You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
