i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
