did you get engaged???
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
