i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
