he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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