I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
