Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
