just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
