Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
