did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
