i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
