You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
